Goosebumps Rewrites
by Spongey4441
Summary: In which I try to improve kids books. Reader beware, indeed.
1. Chicken Chicken

I had been putting these on the Goosebumps wiki as blog posts but I figured since they're fanfic-y enough, they should go here too. Future ones may go here instead of the blog as to not waste too much room. Anyway, here was the first post:

So in popareana's Goosebumps videos, he will suggest ways to fix the book, sometimes even totally re-working them and creating Goosebumps fan fiction. I think it's a fun way to be more constructive, suggesting ways to improve as any story can be good regardless of the concept.

While going through these books for some sweet out of context materiel, I've been thinking of ways to improve some of them, even some I already liked to spruce them a tad. So I've decided some of these with you, showing some ideas I have to improve some of these, and take more advtange of the potential even some of the worst ones had.

Are there better things I can do with my time, and better ways to flex my writing skills than to improve children's books? Yes.

...Well anyway, let's start with everyone's favorite book, Chicken Chicken! The problems with this were not only obvious but actually easy to fix. It was cruel for rather dumb reasons and relies on Vanessa basically becoming the horrible witch everyone thinks she is. So here's how I can take care of that problem:

(Note in some cases I'm just throwing out ideas, this is no way complete and plenty of this may not have worked as well if I was actually writing the full book on a monthly deadline while also doing another monthly series. Also, I don't wanna act like I'm a totally superior writer or anything cuz hey, I'm just a guy on the internet and I've yet to publish a single thing so what do i know, I'm just throwing some ideas out there)

We start out the same, with there being Vanessa who is rumored to possibly be a witch simply due to looking strange and there having been bad things happening to people who prank her, but only those people. No one knows where she came from or how this all started, or even if she's behind those things though.

Crystal and Cole are trying to make friends with two popular kids and one thing they do as initiation to their popular group is have a kid prank Vanessa. Crystal doesn't want to do it since she's not a brat but Cole kind of is although in the middle of doing their prank with the cool kids, they start to feel remorse and give up on joining the cool kids, so they do it themselves and that's when Vanessa runs out.

The cool kids book it, and she only seems Crystal and Cole, thus thinking they did it. She points at them, says the title and boom, chicken curse. Things generally start to play the same, but in this version the parents actually notice this is going on and the kids have to be kept home and get a bunch of treatment. They become outcasts and no one wants to possibly catch whatever they have.

Eventually they confront the cool kids since this is their fault and while at first they don't want to visit Vanessa to own up, it turns out Crystal and Cole can give others the curse by touching them so they are forced to agree and head to her house. They go and before becoming full chickens, they explain that the it was all generally the cool kids idea and they don't deserve this.

Vanessa explains that as a kid she was an outcast just for dressing differently and she mockingly called a witch so eventually she decided to learn witchcraft when she got older, but only to help good people and prove witches aren't bad. But after moving as an, she is either mocked or not trusted and she generally just keeps to herself, even after some pranks, thus meaning those stories were just tall tales.

But seeing Crystal and Cole's pranks set her off, so she decided to curse them to teach them a lesson. While she first thinks Crystal and Cole still deserve it for joining in, hearing that they backed out at the last minute shows them they had already learned their lessons and after the cool kids apologzing, she gets out her spellbook and turns them back to normal, but warms the cool kids that they better learn to be nicer.

Crystal points out that doing this basically made her the evil witch that everyone thought she is, which also made her realize she should reverse the curse. So the kids learn not to mock/ignore people for looking different and Vanessa learns not to go revenge crazy and become what people think you are.

I'd end it around here with the nice lesson and maybe a dumb joke but if we need a twist, here's one: On the way home, one of the cool kids (the other does not approve of what happens next) reveals he learned nothing and still thinks Vanessa is a crazy broad and tries out a spell on the others, but it affects him instead because he accidentally points at himself, the little idiot.

The kids aren't sure what to do...but then just leave, deciding he deserves it. This can be seen as cruel so you can take or leave this.

So that's my idea, sticking with the main concept but making the parents more aware and having a double lesson instead of some weird manners thing. I think works better, although you can possibly remove the cool kids thing if you want (they aren't too vital here), you'd still have the double lesson but the original book did have the prank be started by Cole's friends which is how I got the idea to do something kind of like it. and wanted to give them more of a punishment.

But yeah, tell me how you feel about this version and if I'm onto something here, or give me other ways to handle this story. I'm trying to stay close to what Goosebumps can do with this, so you can have your spooks while also having a stronger story.

I'd like to do more of these so tell me some books you either would like to see me improve on, or give some of your personal re-writes and such. I will credit the idea givers. Or just tel me to never do this again and get a life, that works too.

Bye.


	2. Help! We Have Strange Powers!

This one we're going "modern" with one that I actually do like. However, as I thought about it I found a way to change things up to make it stronger and weed out the parts that don't work. I dig the set up, the villain and the reveal of what's up with Nina and Artie a lot but that stuff could have fleshed out more and the leads could have had less blind hatred.

You can thank ThatRetro for spawning my main idea for this one. He said that he wanted Nina and Artie to be the leads over the actual leads could be but thought that it would be hard to do given the twist. After some thinking, I found a way to fix that...mostly by giving Jillian and Jackson their part of the story.

Hear me out: Okay, so in this version Jill and Jack are forced by their parents to move every couple of years or so, usually for either small or unknown reasons. As a result, they have a hard time making new friends, so they typically end up being more in the background. Like before, the Madame Doom machine seems to give them powers that they mess around with.

They have fun at first until they find the powers hard to control. Again like before, they meet Inspector Cranium, who has dangerous powers of his own and he thinks only certain people deserve to have powers he is why you don't see superheroes running around. (Makes you wonder how he'd react to Jack Johnson).

They do manage to escape their initial run in with them but this puts them on high alert as they wonder what to do with this guy clearly on the look out for kids with powers. He eventually shows up at a birthday party where he goes straight for their parents, because plot twist: They have powers too!

Powers actually run in the family. They don't know exactly why but they do and the main characters powers actually happened because they get them around when they turn 13, and thus that machine actually did nothing noteworthy to them, it seems. Cranium caught wind of the parents some time ago and they've been moving ever since in order to get away from him.

They have thought about full on fighting back to defeat him for good but we're too afraid to lose given they had kids to take care of. After some coaxing, Jill and Jack team up with the parents to combine/hone all their powers and they turn Cranium into a baby like before, so he can grow up and show up again in the HorrorLand stuff.

But until then, the man keeping them from having a life is gone and they'll learn to control their powers with help from their parents. And if you're wondering, this does allow the later twist where The Menace messes with them to make the think Lizzy and Luke are working against them to exist, since now he merely messed with them and didn't full on give them the powers. Still isn't totally logical, but I like how he starts bickering among the kids with this so I'm keeping that.

So yeah, didn't change too much of the main plot, just the background stuff to make the leads more sympathetic and flesh out the good aspects more. Not a whole lot to add here. Once again, I don't claim to be a master writer myself and these are just for fun.

(And yeah, I guess this means Nina and Artie are of no use to this version. Ah well)


	3. Revenge R Us

**NOTE: This was orginally included with my review of the book I did over on my blog. Look up Spongey444 Wordpress/A Taste of Spongey and then Revenge R Us and hopefully you will find it. This was a messy non balanced 2000 entry so here;s some suggestions to improve it.**

First off, Micah is toned down, but that goes without saying. Same goes for the parents, make them more oblivious and less terrible. Anyway, in this version Revenge R Us is more of a prank shop, but the items used for pranking are magical in some way.

Wade gets an item and uses it on Micah, which works. But instead of leaving it at that, she presses on and gets another item. Micah finds out about this after the first prank and decides to get an item of his own. This basically starts a prank war, but with magical items, leading to tons of chances for humor and scares. That's the bulk of my idea here, I just love the idea of a magical prank war.

Plus, I'd make things more even so that no one really has the upper hand and both parties are guilty in some way. As for other details, perhaps have a secret room in the store that has items no one is allowed to touch and of course eventually they go into it and find potions that lead to even more trouble and of course some major scares. Maybe they both becomes beasts or something.

I'd have it so in the end, we see what happens when you take revenge too far and perhaps they could talk things out and start to actually understand each other. They both learn they should talk things out and actually try to reach an understand. Micah learns to not be a jerk and Wade learns that mindless revenge just leads to more revenge.

I even have a twist ending if you really need one: During all this, Wade blows off Carl many times so she can focus on her silly revenge war. In the end, Wade and Micah go back to the store to apologize for everything and while they're say, cleaning the backroom to make up to Iris, they hear Carl come on and tell Iris about how he's been wronged by Wade, and he wants a little revenge.

Could be a bit cruel after she learned her lesson but eh, they could come out and apologize after hearing it, leave it open for anything to happen. Either way, I like my idea because it's balanced and could also be fun. See ya next time.


	4. Revenge of the Lawn Gnomes

I did not intend to do another "Revenge" book so soon. Although this book has no actual revenge but this re-write won't be fixing that. Revenge of the Lawn Gnomes is a pretty flat story with a weak protagonist and villains that aren't threatening or really that fun either. It does however have a kinda fun neighborhood feud subplot. So my first idea was to do something that...but I got another idea for a re-write. So you'll get a two for one sale, with two ideas for a re-write of this one. With that said, here we go:

**IDEA 1:**

Joe's Dad and Mr. McCall are in a seemingly neverending competition over just about everything. If one has something, the other needs to have a better version. Mr. McCall especially, as he pressures his son Moose to do better in school to show up Mindy, the smarter of Joe's Dad's kids. (He's got a name, just don't care). Basically the idea is that the kids already feel like they're caught in the middle of this competition between the dads but things get worse as they go on. Of course, they are gardening freaks so they are currently using their gardens to further one up each other.

Both gardens are really good, but McCall gets a tacky weird looking Gnome to top it off, which leads Joe's Dad to get one of his own from the same store. Things start to play out the same, as the gnomes come alive and do bad things that the fathers blame the other for, causing their rivalry to get even worse. Even Joe and Moose are banned from being friends with "the enemy" and this makes them really want to get to the bottom of the gnome mystery.

The gnomes reveal themselves and a smaller tweak is to actually give them powers so we have some reason to fear them. The episode has them burn people into gnomes, perhaps go with that and actually establish instead of randomly revealing it with the twist. You can have the same '"going to lawn lovely stuff to supposedly get trapped gnomes that are actually evil" stuff since it goes well with my next idea: When they get there, Joe's Dad and Mr. McCall show up. They snuck out to each see who has really been ruining their gardens and discover that it was the gnomes and weren't sure what to do, so they followed the kids to lawn lovely.

The gnomes get out their gnome friend and go full evil on them, and they get defeated via light cuz I think that works better than the dog whistle thing but it doesn't matter. The important part is that the dads help the kids do this, as get over their dumb arguing to do so. They don't exactly go full on buddy buddy so much as they realize they should put their differences aside for the sake of their kids and all that.

The gnomes get stopped and they go home, with things between the families getting better. As for a twist...you can put anything, as long as it doesn't totally ruin the development. Doesn't matter too much. As you can see, this idea explores the rivalry more, and has a basic moral about not fighting over dumb things and putting aside your differences since in this version, their fighting is the whole reason they got the gnomes to begin with, along with the other stuff.

So there's one idea to give this story a bit more to it while not making it too complicated for an evil gnome book. But here's another idea.

**IDEA 2:**

This one is less fleshed out but here it is. This one would be about Joe and the Gnomes. He's quite the prankster so let's play off that. He loves a good joke but doesn't have limits and can't draw the line between good fun and just being mean. When they get the gnomes, Joe doesn't mind their pranks because he finds them funny. The gnomes see this and reveal themselves early on and recruit him to help with their pranks. Once he's over the whole gnomes being alive, he cools down as the gnomes promise to not actually hurt one and they are just having fun.

But soon their pranks get much harsher and start to either hurt people, or hurt their feelings. I think you get the idea here, through this Joe learns that pranks and such can be fun sometimes but there's a limit and all that., I don't have a full mapped out story here, this is more of an idea to build on. This would require more changes to the structure but you can still have fun here. This has more gnome action so you can have more fun with their powers, maybe give the gnomes stronger personalities.

I feel this idea would be more fun but both work in giving this story more than just being a Slappy book with gnomes and gardening, ya know? Either way, tell me what you think as usual and throw out suggestions for future re-writes. Let's rewrite kids books together!

That will be all.


	5. Halloween Book Special

It's October, the month of horror. Naturally, I had to do a Halloween book re-write. I couldn't quite pick which one, so we're doing a few. Not all of them, since I don't have ideas for all, or some I don't have much for, or I might save it for another time. But here are the ones I've been stewing on the most.

**Headless Halloween:**

I actually had a big thing planned out at first but after re-reading it, I actually wanna mostly stick with the book as it is, but just changing the climax and ending.I'd make the party scene actually scary instead of just gross though and get into the real plot a bit sooner. The plot has a bully named Brandon basically dying and being told by a ghost that if he saves three scared people, he'll be given life again. The book had it turn out to be a joke by the ghost, but Brandon doesn't care and wants to go up there and scare kids, thus learning nothing.

I like the idea of subverting the jerk redemption story, it just feels a bit lame in execution so here's an adjustment. The people he saves are people he screwed over earlier that night, by leaving them out in the cold as they later get terrorized. Side note, I like how each has a different kind of danger facing them. Cal has these angry dogs, Vinnie has an evil ghost house and Maya has these bullies that manage to even threaten Brandon. We'll keep these the same but I wanna change up some stuff.

I don't recall how old they are but I wanna make them high schoolers, and really emphasize how curler they are than him. They basically now exist to show what Brandon will become if he doesn't change his ways. Yeah, I'm drawing on A Christmas Carol a tad here, it's almost there anyway. Might wanna change Cal so he represents the past, perhaps he has to save Mr. Benson instead and have him be upset over an especially cruel prank he once played on him? Either way, it's gotta be someone he wronged in the past.

The climax will have basically him deciding not to change at the last minute and want to be a bully again after all, perhaps joining the bullies in their fun. This will drive home the point that some bad people, even when given the chance, won't change. Some people are just rotten. Not sure how the final scene will go, but something that feels impactful and subversive without being kind of insulting to the story.

That's about what I got for this one.

**The Haunter**

This one is fine and has an interesting idea but it is mostly just kind of bland doesn't go into it as much as it could have. This had a kid named Sammy eventually dealing with a ghost kid who forces him to do crazy things that almost get him killed These things also get him in trouble but also actually get him the approval of a girl he has a crush on. It even ends on a bad note but has him thinking "what could go wrong" as he smiles at her. There's...quite a bit we could unpack from this so here's a basic idea to improve upon this.

First, have Ben make himself known earlier so we don't wait over 100 pages to actually meet him. Have him pop up once he starts messing with Sammy. Anyway, in this version, Ben's stunts will make Sammy popular in general because they find it amusing, mostly because it involves him making a fool of himself. In the book, Summer is nice enough to him but just doesn't much attention to him. In this version, she's more dismissive of him and doesn't seem to care about him. Not sure if we'll make her a full on alpha bitch, but that might be a bit much. Basically, she and others only care about him when he is making a fool of himself. He's basically just a silly puppet to them, his popularity is not out of real appreciation for him.

He'll struggle with this as he'll want to keep doing these dangerous things but start to wonder if it's worth it. This is a tad like Are You Terrified Yet in a way, just focusing more on the supernatural and the like. The book has shades of this but hardly pushes it, so that's my suggestion. I don't really have too much else planned out aside from that. As long as he realizes that Summer doesn't actually like him for him, we can have any climax or twist you want.

Just taking a small part of the book and expanding on it, although maybe some tweaks to the first half with them in the house might be needed to make it fit with the 2nd half, or make it a normal sized book and thus perhaps start in the house, kinda like the TV episode of My Best Friend is Invisible, idk. Otherwise, that's all I got here.

**Trick or Trap:**

This one was tricky at first but eventually I was able to nail this one. This book has a kid finding a mask that shows him a fantasy world, and a spirit named Lillian who was trapped in the mask wants it back so she can trap the kid in the mask or something like that. This somehow took over 160 pages. I like the concept of the mask but barely anything is done with it, so let's see what we can do.

Scott's life is not so good, with the obligatory bullies and annoying younger sister, but the fantasy word bits mostly focus on it being a bit creepy and it doesn't seem too appealing even though there's plenty you can do with it. So in this version, the world is seemingly perfect, with either his problems being fixed or not being there at all. There are some slight cracks in the world at times though, like how the food tends to be weird and gross and sometimes the people appear to be monstrous before quickly turning to normal.

However, this new life is so appealing compared to his normal one that Scott keeps coming back, while meanwhile he starts to feel weaker whenever he's back in the normal world. And just like the book, a strange woman starts following him and snooping in his room. Basically, it turns out that this mysterious mask tries to keep you wearing it by showing you a nearly perfect fantasy version of your world, and the more the wear it, the more it drains your life force until you're eventually dead and your spirit is sucked into the mask. (Also, being just a magical mask, it can't replicate a person's life perfectly, so that's why it glitches and has the creepy bits I mentioned before)

Lillian was one of the spirits sucked into the mask, as she fell pray to the mask. When Scott put it on, it allowed her a brief chance to escape, This gives her a chance to ascend to the afterlife, but instead she realizes she is addicted to the mask and the world it created and tried to get it back from Scott. She was basically in a similar boat as Scott.

I don't really know how the story would climax exactly, or what the twist would be. I do know there's an obvious moral here about the dangers of escapism and how you should appreciate what you have. There's also something about addiction in there. The trick would be to make his life flawed without going too far, so that it doesn't fall into the same trap as Don't Go To Sleep where it's basically "don't have a problem with your life cuz you could be a monster or whatever". Otherwise, this is a solid outline for a story, I think.

And yeah, that's about it.

**The Scream of The Haunted Mask:**

I quite like this one as it is but I've got an idea to improve on and dig deeper into a theme that was only teased. The first two already had what kinks they had improved upon in the TV episodes, and the best way to improve Wanted The Haunted Mask is to just trash it and don't publish it, so that leaves this one.

In the first book, Carly Beth wanted the mask so she could be scarier and take care Chuck and Steve, and she seemed to enjoy the power it gave her, until things got bad of course. In Scream, the Mask tries to call to her a few times and Carly Beth feels somewhat of an attraction, and even ends up putting it it on to protect the kids from Laura, who we'll get back to in a second. However, the idea of her possibly still having an attraction to the mask's powers kind of ends there and perhaps could have been fleshed out more.

So my idea is simply to push that further. The Mask not only calls out to her, but it tries to remind Carly Beth of how she felt when she put on the mask, and basically tries to get her to re-lapse, and think that that is was worth it to lose her humanity to scare off some people she disliked. I'm not sure if we should have the mask truly talk, or just kind of get her into her head and make her start thinking her thoughts. She may have gotten it off but since it did get become part of her, there's still enough of a connection there.

She struggles with this, while also dealing the whole possibly haunted stable, and learning that others have suffered from the mask and they may be tied to the stable. I don't want this to be a total re-hash so I don't want Carly Beth to have a full new target for revenge or anything like that, I just want to re-kindle those feelings she had before, and make her wonder if these evil feelings are truly a part of her, and not just something the mask created.

As for Laura Henry, she is someone who had gotten the mask before and used it to spook some horses, which ended up killing her and the horses. She works fine as it is but I want ti make her be a parallel to what Carly Beth went through. Maybe she had her own Chuck and Steve she wanted revenge on, and she was trying to spook them when the horses ended up killing her. She had a bad side the mask took advantage of, but unlike Carly Beth, she let the mask fully get to her and it lead to her downfall.

Now, as a ghost, she still wants the mask due how much it to her, and she died in the mask so it still lingers a bit. She mostly lingered on the farm until Carly Beth started working there and she sense that she had touched it before, and get the job at Tumble Down farms to see if she could get close to her and find out. Yeah, this tweak isn't needed but would make her story a bit better. Anyway, this leads to a similar climax where she threatens to harm the kids unless Carly Beth gets her the mask, so she can feel its power once again.

Now we have the added element of Carly Beth facing who was a lot like her and is doing all this, just to experience the mask again. Throughout the story, the Mask has convinced Carly Beth that she's always had a dark side to her that mask simply brought out. Seeing what it had done to Laura reminds her of how scary the mask really is. While the mask be right to some extent, Carly Beth knows she isn't an evil person by any means, and simply let a bit of (frankly understandable) thirst for revenge get to her, which the mask took advantage. Laura on the other hand, let he bad side fully get to her thanks to the mask and now she's threatening children over it.

As for the ending, eh I don't know. Which what I've put down, I don't think having her put the mask on would quite work here but eh, with some tweaking you can still have it all work. As long as she stops and learns that drugs-I mean evil masks are bad, that that's all that really matters. And yes, I know I did two "protagonist almost falls pray to a mask that killed someone" re-writes in a row, I'm about as good as keeping my ideas fresh as Stine is. They are different enough to work separately, I think.

I think that about wraps it up. Some solid tweaks this time around, and you got four for the price of one. And yeah, that's what I got for this one. Happy Halloween!


	6. A Shocker on Shock Street

Here's one I have been stewing on for a little while. This book is on the divisive side and it is sadly one I don't care. I like the "world-building" with the shock street monsters and the concept of these fans having to face the monsters for real. But it just ended up being kind of sloppy with a twist that's well foreshadowed but still not totally sensical and just exists as an easy way to handwave everything going. So yeah, I'm here to propose how to clean this up. I've even found a way to use the twist. Aside from doing what the TV episode did, although that was amazing. My fixes are quite simple in the long run, and still allow for a lot of antics.

First off, the opening scene with them seeing a screening of Shock Street 5 has them alone, and Mr. Wright tells them they were chosen to see it alone due to them being supposedly the biggest fans in the world. I like the opening in the book as it is, but having them be basically in public is weird after the twist so there's my tweak, it fits better with the reveal. Things go on as normal from there, Erin and Marty are picked to test the ride and things get weird. But here's the big tweak: These are all indeed machines, but they have AI which is malfunctioning, making them act like exactly like they do in the movies. Thus, an easy way to create real tension and explain what is going on without needing to jump through hoops. They first think the monsters are real, but they are just really dangerous robots.

Yes, I've basically pitched West World for kids. That is the easiest way to fix the story and most could still play out as usual, but I've got more to go over. I want them to use their knowledge of the movies to defeat the monsters and make it through the obstacles. It takes more advantage of the movie concept and allows for further "world-building" so to speak. Eventually, Mr. Wright shows up to explain that these are the animatronics used for the movies and when they chose to use them for the ride, they put AI in them so they can move on their own and were designed to act like in the movies but not actually hurt one and of course that went south as the malfunctions happened. Another thing you can do have them get so smart that they want to rebel against their creators, to add to the "hubris of man" theme I've got going on here.

At this point they are almost at the building where the control panel is, but some monsters are in their way and they are working their way in. They are shut off buttons for each robot, but monsters are in the way of those, meaning their best option is the big shut off switch. Mr. Wright says he didn't want to use as shutting off so many at once could cause a power surge and other such excuses. Erin sense this is a bit lie and thinks the real reason is that he's weirdly proud of his creations, and wants to do further work on them or whatever. She calls him out for allowing this to as for as it did, as robots shouldn't be this smart and if are, they should have more free will and yada yada.

Mr. Wright needs to stop this and shut off all of his precious robots, she tells him. Eventually he begrudgingly agrees. All of his creations must be shut down. He pulls the big switch and they all go down...including Erin and Marty. A bunch of workers come in through this convo so we find out that Erin and Marty were created so that they could test the ride and see if super fans would like it without worrying about harming them. Wright was only supposed to have them be smart enough to know everything about the movies, but the more he worked on them, the more he started to get attacheed to like they were his kids, since he has none for real.

He got so attached to them like they were real and even though he was forced to shut off, he wants to turn them back on and fix them up a bit. But his bosses forbid him, thinking that this all went too far. Not sure what the ending should be exactly, I just know it should end with him having to take down his robot kids for good. A bit of a downer but ah well, making him the robot kids turn on to get revenge on the others, kind of like the episode.

Writing this made me realize a better medium between these versions: Keep the robots not really being bad and just being robots made to look scary, with that just being a result of their malfunction but keep the aspect where Wright just made them as tools but grew attached to them as real kids and the malfunction made him realize that robots sadly can't be a good replacement for a human soul, adding to our theme further. Then again, having them prove to be human-ish and question exactly how human a robot can be is also interesting and deep stuff.

Either one works. This got more detailed than I expected but I just wanted to show off how impactful the reveal could be. These are fairly simple fixes that could go a long way in making the story more fleshed while still being fun for the bulk of it. We don't need to go super deep into the AI conversation, of course, just a small hint of it would be interesting, even if Stine would save that for "It's Alive! It's Alive!".

So yeah, that's what I got for this one, see ya.


	7. Dr Maniac Double Feature

Took a bit of a break from these but I'm back. Outside of wanting to relax going into the new year, I was just kind of stumped on which one to do next, as I had a few ideas I had been working out in my head. Oh and before we move on, Poparena reviewed Revenge of the Lawn Gnomes and he had his own re-write and thankfully outside of also going a bit more into the rivalry stuff, it was different from both of my ideas. And pretty good, I like how he did something I forgot to do: Have Lawn Gnomes getting revenge. Whoops.

Anyway, figured I'd do a double feature of two connected books today. The Dr. Maniac books from the HorrorLand and Most Wanted series are some of the more out there entries, and some of the messier ones. But they do have some charm in places and plenty of ways they could be better, so let's look at both separately.

**Dr. Maniac Vs. Robby Schwartz **

This one was odd, not just for the content but for it's almost clever in places, with some good ideas. Some of that is in the form of weird 4th wall breaks that won't quite fit into my re-write. This book has a bunch of fake outs where entire chapters are revealed to be a comic, and an twist involving the brother which could have worked if it made any sense. So we'll work with those and see if we can do anything with them.

Like the book proper, we'll begin with the family in the woods as we establish the personalities of the family. Except they seem a bit exaggerated, with Robby's brother Sam being incredibly wimpy and so on. Otherwise, things will be the same as book, including revealing this is all just a web comic Robby is working on. But in this version, it will be the only time we do this. It's a solid way to introduce everything, including Dr. Maniac and his crazy-ness, Stine just went overboard here. Robby is showing this little web comic to Sam and his friend Brooke and Sam is a bit upset that is portrayed like this.

Robby isn't a bully to Sam per say, but he is generally seen as a wimp and Robby doesn't always treat him with the most respect. This may be hard to pull off without Robby look too dick-ish, as even the book itself has some moments like that. Anyway, Robby has been using a free software to create his comics but the free trial has run out. He knows his parents likely won't pay for the full version, so he looks online for a different free software and finds something off this sketch-y website. Everything about it screams "virus" but he's desperate so he downloads it. And boom, everything he makes with it comes to life, including the big story with Dr. Maniac he starts creating. This part isn't needed but I wanted to explain how Dr. Maniac comes to life since the book doesn't do so and I figured this would work well enough.

With that, D. Maniac appears and kidnaps Sam, just like in the story. From there, things play out about the same as the actual book, with Robby trying to find where Dr. Maniac is and bumping into Purple Rage. Certain things can be tweaked here and there, but it doesn't matter how we get to the end point I'm planning out here. I may have Dr. Maniac sometimes pipe in on TVs and stuff so we can keep him as a presence, given he doesn't do much in the book until the end.

So in the climax, Robby finds Sam but Sam reveals he has turned to the dark side. While he was kidnapped, he and Dr. Maniac ended up talking it out and SAm told about how he hates how Robby and others look down on him. Dr. Maniac pulled out a sob story claiming he can relate and convinced Sam to become his evil apprentice so he can revenge on everyone who made fun of him. See, in the book Dr. Maniac turns out to be Sam himself, with a similar excuse to his dark to villainy. But it doesn't explain he even is Dr. Maniac or anything like that.

It's a good idea that makes no sense in execution, even by the standards of the twists in this series. So I'm basically fixing that here. We have Sam turning evil due to being looked down upon and not confiding in anyone about it, but he simply teams up with Dr. Maniac and things make sense , at least by Goosebumps standards.

As for what happens from there, we'll go the traditional route and have Robby realize that he can be a bit too condescending to Sam and is able to get him to back to the good side, and Sam realizes he could have actually talked to someone about this and whatnot. Oh and Dr. Maniac turns against because his evil, that's another reason Sam could change his mind about evil. Just like in the book proper, Dr. Maniac and his cohorts are defeated by simply deleting them.

Only here we have them simply be put in the recycle bin and the bin itself is not emptied, leaving a simple explanation for how Dr. Manic comes back to get his revenge in HorrorLand. Now, I actually like the idea of this all maybe being a comic that Robby wrote as an apology to Sam as he realized on his own that he doesn't treat him the best, but outside of wanting to avoid more fake outs, I actually want Dr. Maniac to be real with a clear explanation as to how it comes back, as in the actual book the fake out makes it so him being in the HorrorLand stuff doesn't really make sense.

So yeah, I kept things the same but played up the themes with Sam and cleared up the logic a tad. Everything else, even Dr. Maniac and Purple Rage's gimmicks, works fine enough for me. Not a whole to say for this one otherwise, the framework was honestly all there, it just needed some tweaking and not by as dumb with the fakeouts and stuff. It was slightly too complicated for its own good.

Now to move on.

**Dr. Maniac Will See You Now**

This one will be be a different from some of my other re-writes. Basically, this one has Dr. Maniac and others escaping from the comic world to this one and causing generally mayhem to the protagonist, Richard Dreezer, has to deal with. The by itself is fine, but the book got bogged down with Richard's crappy life to the point where it got more sad than fun. Not to mention the annoying nonsense on Dr. Manaic's part being cranked up this time around. There's also a reveal with Richard's doctor being evil that doesn't add much, on top of an overly cruel ending.

The thing, my fix would be very boring: Ditch, or tone down Richard's life and just focus on the comic book world stuff. Maybe have an arc where he realizes he can stop the villains with his own smarts instead of constantly hoping for powers to pop up, and give it a more traditional ending. The fix is an easy one, to the point where you don't need a traditional re-write. Yeah, you'll still have some annoying bits but that's more subjective, as long as the story is better structured and Richard's life is less cartoon-ishly terrible, than the readers opinion on how funny Dr. Maniac is can be forgiven. I would make his plan crazier though, in the book he's really all talk as he barely seems like a Maniac beyond saying stupid things.

So for a re-write, I'm just gonna make my own story with only a bit of the framework of the book. I mean, hey this is technically a fanfic, so why not go all out. Anyway, Richard's life is still not very good, but here it's toned down to just being generally meh and not having the awful parents or anything like that. He's got a bully and perhaps his parent's at the best. Things that aren't terrible to deal with as it is, but things he wish he didn't have. He is big into comic books, as that world has larger than life villains to deal with, which he thinks would be more fun than his more mudane problems. Perhaps he has a disney princess problem of wanting more than this life.

One day he visits the doctor but he has been replaced by a new one who seems odd. He's trying to appear normal but keeps saying wack-y things. He gets a shot that makes him feel weird but otherwise he's able to move on with his day. Eventually he gets to get powers, and at first he wants to have fun with them. However, it seems that he can only use for evil as every attempt to use it to help people ends with them being hurt. It doesn't take long for them to figure that he's beyond some of the odd accidents going on, even if not everyone jumps to "he's using evil powers"., so thus he becomes even more of an outcast.

During all this, he seems glimpse of some figure following around but he can't figure out what is going with that. Eventually, Dr. Maniac pops up and reveals he is behind everything. He had escaped from the comic book world because he got bored of the comic characters that have been around forever and wanted a new one, and a possible apprentice to help him in his maniacal evil. He spotted Richard and figured he would make for a good villain, as he had the motive needed. So he disguised himself as a doctor and gave the shot, which is where the powers come from.

This is also why the powers seemed to be evil in nature no matter what, they came from Dr. Maniac. He believes that Richard should use these powers to get revenge on all the people who wronged him, especially the bullies. He asks Richard to join him and all that. Richard considers it, as part of him did enjoy being able to get revenge on his enemies. However, he snaps out of it and realizes that the reason that he likes superheroes is that they do what is right no matter right...and also that Dr. Maniac is a dangerous maniac and should not be teamed up with.

So with that Richard turns on Dr. Maniac and...that's about what I got. Don't have ideas for exactly how the ending plays out but you get the idea. This version is is yet another story to explore the dangers of blind revenge on all that, this time through the superhero/villain concepts. This touches on what it means to be a hero vs a villain, and I think that can spice up some themes that even I have done before. I think it's a solid idea to explore and I borrowed the Dr. Root twist to an extent here and actually made it matter.

There's a few other areas you can get into through this idea, and you can come up whatever ending you want as really as long as you don't get too unfair like the actual book did, you can do anything. Actually, the book has him ditching his bad life and going into the comic world for good, for if I would just have it end happily from there instead of doing what the book did. Either way, I think my idea is a solid one.

Oh and I'll just admit I borrowed a lot of this idea from the Nightmare Room book My Name is Evil, so at least Stine already covered this idea before. It can still work for this story though, given what I did with it. And yeah, that about covers these books. We got a re-write that keeps the same basic concepts but cleans things up to make the madness stronger and one where I throw out the whole story and do something different.

A decent of pair of re-writes this time. I may end up doing more that are as only-kind of connected, like the latter one. I also want to branch out to do some other Stine series re-writes, like Nightmare Room or Fear Street, we'll see. If I do, I'll still keep this Goosebumps focused, it just might be fun to branch out these re-writes I suppose. Either way, I got plenty of GB re-writes to explore in the future.

Until my next one, that will be all. Take care.


	8. The Blob That Ate Everyone

Oh hey, another one of these. This one is special because this was actually a request, one by user DragonEmperor999. I'm actually glad they requested it because I did have an idea for a re-write that popped in my head the last time I was reading this one, to get materiel for my Out of Context Twitter account. Yep. The reason this one to took a while is because...it took too long for me to really crack the code. I know the idea I wanted to get into but I wasn't sure how to portray it per say. So chances are high that even when I post it, I may look back and wish I made a tweak or 2 to this. But ah well, we'll see how this goes.

I kinda like this book as it is but that's despite some notable flaws in it, as per usual. One that many bring up is that it takes too long for the Blob to actually show up, as we end up wasting time on other stuff. I get that if we focus too much on it, that stuff may get old quick but it's still an issue for me. I wasn't totally sure how to tackle that but I think some of the other stuff I came up may make up for it if this theoretical version would still have that problem.

Okay, so in the book, Zackie started writing the blob story on that typewriter at the moment that he did, because he was angry at a prank his 'friend" Adam pulled. He wrote it out of anger and it is implied that the Blob is a representation of Zackie's own feelings. I don't think it was meant to be read into that way but the seeds are there due to the way the scene is set up. I found that interesting and it gave me the idea that I started this re-write with. Hell, the idea of a story being someone's way to vent their feelings was even used in the Goosebumps movie. Seriously, that movie establishes that their version of Stine came up with the monsters as a way to deal with the stuff he dealt with in this movie's version of his life. Guess it's fitting they used the Blob when it was clearly meant to be Monster Blood.

Anyway, let's get on with this. We're keeping the setup the same, and that includes Adam, the jerk friend who is so bad to Zackie you gotta wonder why Zackie and Alex keep him around. That''s the center of our version. Zackie is too chicken to kick him out of the friend group, even though Alex keeps voicing her concerns about keeping him around. In this version, Adam will dare Zackie to enter the mysterious run down store when they find it, instead of Zackie thinking it is a good idea to do so like in the book proper. (Basically, we're making Adam the reason all this happens).

Perhaps we'll keep some of the stuff with them starting the story, so it'll give them reason to believe the typewriter indeed brings stories to life, which is important. If that Blob will be taking his time, perhaps we'll make the stuff the typewriter brings to life a bit more interesting. Perhaps after Adam mocks them for thinking the story started the sudden rain, he goes on the thing and writes that Zackie's dad gets hit by a truck. Zackie is appalled by this action, than remembers that Dad went out for ice cream before the rain started and realizes he has to push him out of the way of the truck.

It's a bit extreme but it makes for a way more fun set-piece, eh?

Zackie is able to do so and now he's especially mad at Adam, who still maintains it was all a coincidence. (Keep in mind this version will keep that they use the thing to summon Adam over there, Adam just assumes he forgot why he came over). They are convinced by now and Alex makes Zackie promise not to use it to write his story, and he agrees to it. He starts to flesh out his planned Blob story further and he decides to inject some stuff inspired by his dealings with Adam, because he's just that frustrated with him.

He goes to Adam to show off the story, hoping that perhaps some of what he wrote in the story will give him a hint. Not only does this not work, but he mocks him further and rips up the story. Pissed off, Zack goes home and wanting to vent, turns to the typewriter and vents things out via writing his blob monster story. Keep in mind, this version isn't the same he gave to Adam, he just wrote that a Blob monster attacks a town and such. Along with writing a part where Adam gets eaten by it. Before you can say "Whoops, you messed up Zackie", his mom asks him to go the store, just like in the book proper.

Thus, he finds himself face to face with the blob that the type-writer brought to life. Now, the Blob acts of how own volition now that it is real, instead of only doing what Zackie wrote and such. Oh and here the Blob would happen a bit earlier instead of whatever page he shows up on, so we can drag this out slightly more. Perhaps Zackie hides in the store and has to hope the Blob didn't see him come in, but whoops, he did and the Blob straight up eats the Store, with Zackie escaping before he can do so. (The blob has a big mouth, he can eat buildings whole now, whatever)

The scene where Adam gets eaten still happens, but here it is because Adam made sure to write that it happens. Adam finds Alex and they race home to get to the typewriter. Now, in the book they reveal it actually isn't the type-writer itself that is doing all this. Zackie got a shock when he touched it for the first time and we discover that Zackie has the powers on his own, and thus he thinks the blob away. That was...a choice but at least it was foreshadowed by having nothing happen when Adam wrote in the thing.

This threw a wrench in what I was planning for my re-write, especially with the take-away I am getting to. Do I keep that twist or not? In the end, this idea hit me: In this version...it is indeed the typewriter doing this and anyone can bring stuff to life, as Adam's whole truck thing from earlier will establish, and my version will lack the "Zackie has the power inside him stuff". However, it hits Zackie that the Blob could end up eating the thing before they can write on it, and they would be up shit creek without a paddle. Alex is like "Man, if only you had the power to do this without it". Boom it hits him. Everything you write in the thing actually happens, they know this now. So maybe if Zackie write something like "Zackie discovered he had powers that can make anything happen!":, then maybe this will allow him to do it for real!

They make it to the typewriter and Zackie indeed writes what I just said and sure enough, he now has these powers, which he tests by...uh, making Alex hit herself, idk. With these powers, he makes the Blob vanish and brings Adam back. Adam has no memory and mocks Zackie, and Zackie responds by telling him to piss off and that he is no longer welcome in their friend group, finally concluding that whole arc. Having learned his lesson, he wants to ensure nothing like this happens again so first, he writes that Zackie no longer has the powers. Sure enough, this makes them go away and he straight up trashes the thing, and takes it apart so that they won't even be able to use it again.

Yeah, I slightly amazed myself that I found a way to have him think the blob away while still not having the power be inside him due to a shock or whatever, he gave them to himself with a magic typewriter with no backstory! Way more logical, right? So everything is addressed? Not quite. If you recall, the book had a twist that reveals this was all a story by some blob monster.

That was...another choice and in my version, that would make even less sense. So let's do something kinda like that: This version reveals this this whole story was just a story Zackie had written, and he was telling it to his class as part of some creative assignment or something. Real Life Zackie indeed was upset at Adam and wrote this story as a way for him to address his own feelings, and hoped that having him get rid of Adam in this story would give him the courage to do so in real life. Sure enough, after Adam mocks Zackie's story in front of everyone, Zackie tells him he is out of their friend group, and eh, the teacher punishes Adam for being rude to Zackie like that. And yeah, we end here, no further twists needed. (I realize this twist makes the opening fake out chapter weird in the context of this all being a story in universe but shhh)

So there we go, I turned a simple blob story into a story about dealing with toxic friendship and all that. Hey, the setup was there, I just needed to...flesh this all out so it can work as a story. My problem in making this is that I felt i would accidentally imply that using your fiction as a way to vent your feelings is bad and I really did not want to give off that give. As long as you execute it well, writing is a great way to help you get out this kinda stuff. In the story, Zackie's problem was still using the typewriter, not that he wanted to vent himself a tad through his writing. That's why I needed to make it so that the typewriter does all this and someone needs to write in it, and that Zackie does not have the power within him at the moment. Otherwise, suggesting that him using it was the issue would be dumb if the power is inside him in the end.

I think my compromise with Zackie worked out well in that regard. So there you go, the hardest re-write to pin down has finally been been jotted down, I can sleep well now lol.

So that about does it for this one, a bit longer than usual but hopefully this is all looks good. I've been stewing on other ideas but wanted to get this one out before moving onto my other ideas. But yeah, feel free to request and I'll see what I can do, I hope the requester enjoyed this. See ya.


	9. Why I Quit Zombie School

For this addition, we're jumping ahead to Hall of Horrors. I was reminded of this one recently and I've had and idea for it stirring for a while now. So here it goes. This book has a fine enough idea but it all ended up being lazy in terms of the story and nothing really mattered in the end. The scene the book picks as the climax is not only anti climatic but could have been at any point in the story. Things like that dragged it down so let's see if we can really tighten this up.

So this book had a kid attending a boarding school run by zombies and the school has something called a Reviver. See, why they are indeed undead, they can die a second death so to speak, and through normal means, not just through light like the Dead House guys. Thus, they have this machine called Reviver that puts some extra juice if you're feeling even slower than usual, or it can stitch you up if you lose your hand and so on. It can only do so much though, as shown in a scene where a kid has a nasty fall and the Reviver doesn't take, and he's dead again. The saddest part is that Franny, who tells us this, just brushes it off because it's that common at this point. This is a fascinating concept ad of course nothing is done with it. We don't even find out if they have any master plan once they discover if Matt is a human or not. So yeah, we're jumping off this idea.

In this case I mostly have extra lore and an idea of how this thing will climax, don't really have a clear A to B story. But hey, neither did Stine apparently. Okay, that's mean. Anyway, some time ago, most of the students of Romero Academy died, along with a few teachers. How did they die? Eh, I couldn't think of a good reason that doesn't either rehash Dead House or touch on a subject this series has no business mentioning. So we'll keep it vague in story. The kids were restless, upset that they didn't get to live their full life. So they returned as zombies and tried to keep their cool in the graveyard and but become afraid they'd get hungry and attack the citizens elsewhere. So this guy who is the father of one of the students, Franny Roth, saw that their school was closed down and decided to use it to continue their schooling but make it exclusively for zombies to live on longer. The school generally tried to operate in secret so as not to get authorities snooping around, but they did send some ads hoping to find new lost zombie souls, doing interviews to make sure to covertly check if they are zombies.

But Matt's family had to move into town fast and so the interview had to be done online, with the plan to check on him for zombie-ness while he's at school and just expelling him on a random claim if he's still alive. Franny is able to tell he's alive right away but takes a liking to him and decides to help him pass as a human. Her deal is basically like this in the book, just so ya eventually she reveals that while at first they loved the school as a way to live with, it soon became a burden to some of them.

They've gotten what their want and want to die peacefully but Mr. Roth has become so attached that he's not allowing them to do so. He's still super bitter about losing his life early and wants to keep everyone in this undead state. The whole Reviver Room is a thing in this version so they've seen how they are all just hanging by a thread, barley being amble to live this weird life right anyway.

She wants Matt to help overthrow her father so they can back peacefully in their graves. At first they foolishly go to him on their own to see if they can talk it out, but he refuses to budge and he basically finds out Matt is human during this but Matt tries to keep up the zombie act. So to test him, he takes Matt and plans to throw him off a balcony. Okay, either way he'll still have a treason guy but this could mess up to the point where the Reviver fails so yeah.

Then all the other students arrive and form a mob to take him on for good. Franny pleads to her father, demanding that they let them lie. It's sad that they died early but as much as they try, they can't live a normal life afterward and need to accept that. She tries her best to get Mr. Roth on their side but alas, he still refuses to accept it and through an accident, he falls off the balcony and dies for good, the Reviver doesn't take.

With that, the zombie kids return to the graveyard and the school is empty once again. Franny thanks Matt for his help and they part ways. As for a twist ending...I got nothing fill in anything here. Maybe keep the silly "Matt goes to a vampire school" one from the book, as long as we don't ruin the nice bit. I actually just an idea for a plot twist where it turns out Matt is actually a zombie and just forget his death due to weird death amneisa thing this series loves, but I'm not sure how to work that into the story in a good way so we'll nix it.

But there we go, I just made a story about accepting your death, this was a very upbeat and cheery story. Mr. Roth's fate might be a bit dark even for the book with that student dying but eh, I think it works for the story I created. This one was so much easier to crack than the last one, I had the basic idea in my head but wasn't sure how to make something of it but once I started writing here, it all came to me.

But yeah, one of my better re-writes I think. See ya for the next one.


	10. The Ghost of Slappy

**This book is rather recent and I spoil it to show how to improve it, so beware.**

So I've done every mainline series so far, except for Slappyworld. Time to tackle one I've been sitting on for a bit. I do feel weird doing the really new ones for some reason but here we are. Ghost of Slappy is a promising concept, but naturally it got screwed up. It has some elements that you think would matter but don't and in the end it ends up feeling weirdly cruel for Shep, the protagonist. I'll explain more about that was go on. The Ghost Slappy stuff was okay but ended up not being as fun as I wanted and some of it was standard Slappy stuff except not no one can see or hear him at all. So yeah, let's get into it.

Part of the setup is that Shep has a ghost in his basement named Annalee that has been bugging him, and of course his family doesn't believe him about her. She mostly just floats in the background until the very end, where we find out she was a cruel kid in life and needs to do a good deed to move. However, Shep had been scared of her and didn't do anything to help her so instead she backstabs her and tears of the words that can put Slappy to sleep. For some reason the powers that be this see this as good and she moves on, and the book ends with Slappy ganging up on Shep. Yeah, that was really dumb and cruel for no reason reason. I mean, I can at least see why Shep wasn't super welcoming to her and he apologizes and yet he gets screwed over anyway?

Another weird thing is that it earlier, Shep mentions having a lucky silver charm that he wears on his neck that his grandpa gave him, and he died soon after. You'd think that connect to what Annalee wants or at least be important...but nope, it never comes up again. You can guess how I'm going to fix that so let's into the other thing we'll do something with. The book had Slappy first being owned by Shep's teacher, Mr. Benson, who used Slappy for a prank and had said the words after finding them, thinking nothing of it. Slappy actually comes alive in front of him and whole class while on a school camping trip. Yep, other people, including an adult, know of Slappy...and it doesn't factor into much once they get him and Shep finds Slappy in his stuff, after some bully puts him there, after Slappy is put to sleep. It becomes far more standard after that setup.

So yeah, let's put all this into a more interesting package. We'll start with them visiting the Grandpa, who has been rather distant for as long as Shep has known. He's gotten sick so they are visiting him out of concern and while he isn't a jerk, he does weirdly sad on-top of being sick. He gives Shep the charm, telling him it will bring him luck and that you should hold onto it, and never let go. They go home where we are Annalee is still a thing has been for a while, but here she was just a voice Shep kept hearing, he wasn't sure what it was. After getting home, he goes to the basement to get a thing and sees her properly for the first time. In the book, she's a little girl but in this version she was be an older woman. She reaches him but seems to only be strong enough to touch his charm, hint hint.

He has no time to worry too hard about this as he goes on the camping trip while things while play out like they did before. But now after putting Slappy to sleep, Shep will get the idea to burn him on their campfire so that he doesn't bother anyone ever again. The bully still thinks this is just a joke from the teacher so he says the words again as a joke. They thankfully burn him before he can do anything but this gives Slappy a chance to look at Shep, knowing he came up with the idea, and swear revenge before he dies.

After failing to get good sleep due to hearing some noises outside and fearing Slappy somehow came back, they go home sometime later and try to move on like normal. However, soon the Ghost of Slappy shows up and starts haunting the class, causing all kinds of havoc, and worst of all, interrupting their learning. So now they will be more involved and the plot and try to see if they can figure a way out of this. We'll have Slappy doing his thing but on a bigger scale now that he has ghostly powers on his side. The book had a creepy scene where Slappy almost kills Shep, let's lean more into that to show he's especially pissed now.

Annalee will still be a thing and at one point she will say something about "Simon", Grandpa;s name. (This is directly mentioned in the book, the semi flashback in weirdly detailed for something so pointless). So he will try to visit him to discover more, only to at that moment, get a call informing the family that he has passed away. During his grieving, Shep asks dad more about Grandpa and he reveals that when he was younger, Simon's wife, and Shep's grandma,, left him after a big fight due to Simon starting to focus more on his work than her and all that. He got more distant after that not even Shep's dad had much luck getting through to him more.

Shep realizes that Annelee must be his Simon's ex wife and decides that he, and his classmates since backup is always good must confront her and settle this. They head down to the basement and she shows up. Before Shep can say anything, Slappy's ghost shows up, not only to do his thing but because he views Annalee as competition that must be stopped. They get into a ghost fight but before a victor can be clear, Shep's Grandpa's ghost shows up!

Annalee reveals that she is indeed the ghost of his former beloved. It turns out that the charm was something he gave to her when they first met and was the main thing he had to remember her by when she left. Sometime after she did, he realizes just how awful he was being and wanted to possibly make amends, only to discover she had died of natural causes. This left him pretty sad, hence him being distant saying that Shep should never let go of the charm, he was very subtly referring to his ex. Turns out Shep was living in the house she moved into and died in.

She could sense that Shep had the charm and wanted it, assuming it would help her move on. Simon and her have a nice moment as she sees that he see the error of his ways and still truly loved her. . Okay, I should back up and mention that Shep repaired Slappy's body which caused the spirit to return to it, as he figured he can say the words after that to put him to sleep, making for an easy defeat. I say this as I can work this into here too, perhaps he wanted to do that before caught up in the Annalee stuff. Perhaps Shep has a classmate fix Slappy's body while they are in the basement. After that nice moment, Slappy barges in as a ghost and then suddenly gets put into his body during a ghostly fight between the spirits. He barges in, being a (night of the) living dummy again. Annalee manages to say find the words and say them to put him to sleep.

Since they know that destroying him doesn't work, they just hope they can keep him asleep this time. Simon and Annalee have a heartfelt goodbye, as this managed to close out their unfinished business and they move on to the afterlife. Shep and his pals are happy now that everything is finally all settled. As for our twist ending...eh, Shep's sister, who exists and is about as pointless in the actual book for the most part, shows up, finds the words and says them. Yeah, it's basic as hell but it functions at least.

And there ya go. Perhaps the dead grandpa stuff is a bit dark and not quite in tone with the series but you get the idea, the charm belonged to Annalee and they are connected. As long that concept, along with her helping stop Slappy is kept, you can tweak this as much as you want. I just wanted to add some slightly deeper stuff to beef it up. Might need work but I think I have something here, using the pieces Stine laid out for me. This one easy to put together, just had to decided on if I wanted to use the Grandpa opening or just leave it as a backstory like in the book. Either can work fine.

So ends another round of fixing a kids book, huzzah. See ya next time for more re-writing fun.


	11. Say Cheese and Die-Again!

Time to do another one of these and we've got an interesting one here. We have a sequel to rework and an especially bad one. The first Say Cheese and Die had its share of problems but it at least had some good moments while the sequel made the characters incredibly stupid just to force our way into a plot that had Greg getting fat. Riveting. Honestly, there wasn't much room for a direct sequel and they made no effort to really make up for that. I don't think there should be a sequel but if you had to, my goal was to think of a better way to do one and I think I've got one. One that relied on a more fresh idea while still having a lot of photo taking action. So yeah, we're basically just making a new story instead of reworking the existing one, again.

So we're leaving the first book as it is, except for perhaps we could have Greg be the one to take the photo that kills Spidey as one aspect of this works better with it being him. Anyway, the twist of the first one was that the bullies took a photo so we'll run with that. The bullies came to school soon after babbling about seeing something scary but not wanting to say what it is. The kids are scared but think they could just be pranking them. Sometime later, things calm down and the bullies step down from being bullies but some new ones move in with Donny and Brian. They hear about Greg's camera story and mock the kids for it, leaving them frustrated. Some of them think of possibly getting the camera to prove it to them but Greg and Shari are especially against it after seeing what it can do but do have the idea in the back of their minds. Soon, bad things start happening, mostly to people like the bullies which leads the kids to blame themselves as they think one of them stole the camera and used it for revenge. They all deny it though.

Things keep escalating, and it's hard to figure out if these are just coincidences are not. They seem to hear a flash before the things happen but no one can found, nor the camera. Meanwhile, Greg starts having nightmares about the camera and a mysterious figure starts appearing in them. He also starts seeing bits of it around when these bad things happen. Btw, you fill in these things, I'm too lazy to think of them, just imagine they are super bad and scary.

Eventually they decide to go back to the Coffman house to see if the camera is still there, to prove someone has taken it. Soon after they get there, the person behind all this shows himself: Spidey. Or rather, his ghost. The picture the bullies took brought him back as a ghost and seeing that is what scared them so bad. Afterwards, he spent some time planning his revenge on the kids for killing him, even if it was by accident. So he went around and took the pictures and went with people like the bullies first so the kids could get blamed, before starting to target them. Here Greg realizes his nightmares have actually about his guilt about accidentally killing Spidey. (This is why I wanted to change that, if this was Shari it would not give as much to the actual protagonist)

They tell Spidey it was still just an accident and he really shouldn't be doing this. He goes into a rant about how he thinks he didn't deserve to die like that. He made a lapse in judgement by trying to take the camera like that and he got his punishment with the curse being placed on it. He was at least trying to live his days in peace but these kids came around and took the camera, causing all sorts of trouble. He may have gone too far by trapping them but he only just wanted to prevent other people from being punished by the camera.

The kids, feeling guilty, to agree it he had it pretty badly but also think he dwelled on it too much and has become more evil in the process. We then get this big think where Spidey has a breakdown and the kids formally apologize, and also forgive Spidey once they see how broken up he gets. They reconcile and Spidey moves onto the afterlife, finally being at peace. Happily ever after. As for a twist...eh, I don't know, it could ruin what I'm going for so come up with one yourself.

So there ya go. The ending may be a bit much for this series but I do like the idea of Spidey's ghost coming bin and doing all this. It allows for bad things to happen without the characters being idiots. And I really like the idea of dealing with how unfair his death was and working it into the story. That part's mostly a me thing though, but the rest I do think is a clear improvement over what we got. Actually, the bad things could have at least been better if the setup was gonna be forced. Some books can have weak stories but still have memorably fun stuff to make up for it. Heck, that can be applied to the first book.

Either way, this was an easy one to come up with so that's good. And that's about it, hopefully you like what I came up with for this one. Oh and aside from a few minor things, I'd leave Say Cheese and Die Screaming the way it is, that is all.


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